Am I doing the right thing?
Do you wanna know the worst thing so far about giving up work to pursue your dream? People think you are stupid, and, more than that they tell you as well. The assumption is that you are thick or that you quit because you had to, not because you chose to. I find this fascinating. This is a society that prides itself on diversity, the modern way, in a country where the government is trying to encourage people to be creative and find their own work, there are still those that really make people,...well, me,....stupid for doing this! My answer to them, is that they are potentially stupid for not doing it?
Before when I was in my research job, people were more respectful. Even when i was there there are so so many people that feel the need to insult your intelligence at an instant, just because you made a mistake or something. The assumption is that i syour true self, the stupid self coming out to light and the 'look, see, phd and you cant even get 7x8 right' or whatever trivial thing is is.
Having a PhD doesn't make you superhuman, last time I checked i'm still human and i make mistakes all of the time and I really don't like the negativity that comes from others, its almost like .... (without sounding nasty here this is a genuine thought/observation) ... almost like people who feel they are less intelligent, or have far less qualifications or whatever than me, feel the need to belittle me to boost their own confidence. So that they can show during that moment when they pointed out my failing, that they were better than me at something. The most common one is that 'you academics, no common sense'. No, i'm pretty sure i'm fine as I am thanks :) no I cant fix your car or build a house or know what time of year to plant potatoes, but thats potentially just because I haven't ever had to do that, not that I cant. I moved out for uni, and have never been home. I have no debt. I have a small amount of money in a nest egg backup for a rainy day fund. I have rented, maintained, decorated, so many flats I cant count, i've moved house a lot and lived all over the UK in some of the roughest places, and worked in some the highest and lowest paid jobs there is in most of them... and I think because of that i've ended up with a good view of the world to be honest!
This is going to sound crass, but, I like being intelligent. I worked really, really, hard to get where I am and I don't appreciate being called stupid, by anyone, ever. Its just not funny to me. To insult someones intelligence is a fundamental judgement to make about a person and I find it awful! Yes, its not all their fault of course, i'm a bit sensitive to it because I am a bit self conscious about it but even still, do you really need to point this out and laugh, so loudly, and usually publicly?
For those who don't know, or who haven't taken the time to ask, and for the record, I have given up my job because I listened to the wise words of people who are no longer with me to ... do what you love,... try to achieve your dreams,... live each day to the full... all that (what most people call) cheesy rubbish, I wholly believe in. I absolutely think that life is short and I absolutely think that by attempting to pursue this now that I am doing the right thing. I already feel a bit more at peace with who I am in the last few months.
No, i've not got a business off the ground and no, i've not got a regular job per se, and yes, i'm working part time as the most overqualified barmaid ever to earn a bit of money but i'm finding my way slowly. And importantly, i'm not sponging off of anyone. Period. If it came to it, i'd get a job in a heartbeat.
FYI ... I am very grateful for the place that I live and the people in my life, as I know that without that support (as hidden away in layers and layers of banter and grumpiness sometimes) I would not be able to do this at all. Its an opportunity thing. Im not doing anything different than before re paying my way, but its the knowledge that i'm unemployed, and not earning a lot, and then not kicking me out on a whim in return that is the support. Don't get me wrong, a bit of encouragement when i'm having one of those days where it never seems like its going to work out or i'm getting nowhere wouldn't go a miss but, I do understand that there is another type of support happening there too.
Im not sure why I felt the need to write this today but still, I do feel better for it. Right...less Rachel more music!!
Before when I was in my research job, people were more respectful. Even when i was there there are so so many people that feel the need to insult your intelligence at an instant, just because you made a mistake or something. The assumption is that i syour true self, the stupid self coming out to light and the 'look, see, phd and you cant even get 7x8 right' or whatever trivial thing is is.
Having a PhD doesn't make you superhuman, last time I checked i'm still human and i make mistakes all of the time and I really don't like the negativity that comes from others, its almost like .... (without sounding nasty here this is a genuine thought/observation) ... almost like people who feel they are less intelligent, or have far less qualifications or whatever than me, feel the need to belittle me to boost their own confidence. So that they can show during that moment when they pointed out my failing, that they were better than me at something. The most common one is that 'you academics, no common sense'. No, i'm pretty sure i'm fine as I am thanks :) no I cant fix your car or build a house or know what time of year to plant potatoes, but thats potentially just because I haven't ever had to do that, not that I cant. I moved out for uni, and have never been home. I have no debt. I have a small amount of money in a nest egg backup for a rainy day fund. I have rented, maintained, decorated, so many flats I cant count, i've moved house a lot and lived all over the UK in some of the roughest places, and worked in some the highest and lowest paid jobs there is in most of them... and I think because of that i've ended up with a good view of the world to be honest!
This is going to sound crass, but, I like being intelligent. I worked really, really, hard to get where I am and I don't appreciate being called stupid, by anyone, ever. Its just not funny to me. To insult someones intelligence is a fundamental judgement to make about a person and I find it awful! Yes, its not all their fault of course, i'm a bit sensitive to it because I am a bit self conscious about it but even still, do you really need to point this out and laugh, so loudly, and usually publicly?
For those who don't know, or who haven't taken the time to ask, and for the record, I have given up my job because I listened to the wise words of people who are no longer with me to ... do what you love,... try to achieve your dreams,... live each day to the full... all that (what most people call) cheesy rubbish, I wholly believe in. I absolutely think that life is short and I absolutely think that by attempting to pursue this now that I am doing the right thing. I already feel a bit more at peace with who I am in the last few months.
No, i've not got a business off the ground and no, i've not got a regular job per se, and yes, i'm working part time as the most overqualified barmaid ever to earn a bit of money but i'm finding my way slowly. And importantly, i'm not sponging off of anyone. Period. If it came to it, i'd get a job in a heartbeat.
FYI ... I am very grateful for the place that I live and the people in my life, as I know that without that support (as hidden away in layers and layers of banter and grumpiness sometimes) I would not be able to do this at all. Its an opportunity thing. Im not doing anything different than before re paying my way, but its the knowledge that i'm unemployed, and not earning a lot, and then not kicking me out on a whim in return that is the support. Don't get me wrong, a bit of encouragement when i'm having one of those days where it never seems like its going to work out or i'm getting nowhere wouldn't go a miss but, I do understand that there is another type of support happening there too.
Im not sure why I felt the need to write this today but still, I do feel better for it. Right...less Rachel more music!!
Comments
Post a Comment
Comments: